Friday, April 30, 2010

A Thousand Gifts #14

 

Thank you God, for:

My son...born 32 years ago today.

What can anyone say about their child that is enough? Certainly not I.

Please God, watch over him, strengthen and guide him. Grant him peace. Amen

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

A Thousand Gifts #13

 

Thank you God for:

Early mornings, sitting on the couch, coffee and laptops at hand, in companionable silence with my husband, now and then sharing thoughts.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

A Thousand Gifts #8 - 12

Thank you God for:

Paying work

The view of the sea and sky from my window

Comfy sweats to change into after work

Beer

Monday, April 26, 2010

On A Moonless Sea

Obedience is my cross, and so far I have been too stubborn and willful to take it up. In the quiet of my prayers and meditation, I can imagine that I am/will be obedient. It's a complete delusion. Occasionally the mask slips revealing my dark, cold shame. Even when faced with my guilt, however, I still do not shake off my pride and resentment. Instead, I cling to it as if  my arrogance will save me from having to live my creed--to trust in God. I turn my head away and choose delusion over truth, pride over humility, separation over union. Even as I turn away in self-denial, my dis-ease is instantly denser and more formidable.  But there has not been any metanoia, because I am a foolish woman.

Face to the sea, I hear the wind calling me to truth

Close your eyes and dream beneath the warmth of skies of blue

Longing to rest my weary bone

So long the path, O be still my soul

My God knows well my groping and sadness, and so keeps setting before me the signposts of my path and His will for me.

Today I heard a recording of the sermon given by Bishop Edward Slattery at a Mass celebrating the fifth anniversary of Pope Benedict's pontificate. The Bishop said:

The mystery then, of which we speak, is the light that shines in the darkness, Christ Our Lord, Who reveals Himself most wondrously to those who suffer so that suffering and death can do nothing more than bring us to the mercy of the Father.

For the sake of His sorrowful passion, have mercy on me and on the whole world.

And these words from a blog that I follow:

"All along, let us remember, we are not asked to understand, but simply to obey...
'And only Heaven is better than to walk with Christ at midnight, over moonless seas--'
I couldn't feel frightened then. Praise Him for the moonless seas--all the better the opportunity for proving Him to be indeed the El Shaddai, 'the God who is Enough.'"
Let me add my own word of witness to hers and to that of the tens of thousands who have learned that He is indeed Enough. He is not all we would ask for (if we were honest), but it is precisely when we do not have what we ask for, and only then, that we can clearly perceive His all-sufficiency. It is when the sea is moonless that the Lord has become my Light."

Jesus I trust in You. Help my lack of trust.

Jesus, free me from the shackles of my pride, unite me with your Sacred Heart, and fill me with the grace to abandon myself to your will for me. 

My soul is full of whispered song;

My Blindness is my sight;

The shadows that I feared so long

Are all alive with light. --Alice Cary

Alleluia

Sunday, April 25, 2010

God Uses Him On Me

I was reading this blog post today, and the author used the phrase "God uses her on me".  It got me to thinking about the people God uses on me, and the people He uses me on. It's pretty safe to say that everyone we encounter is placed in our path for a reason, but it also seems that there are certain people who are here to really get under our skin, who affect us like no one else. Sometimes they are exceedingly wonderful to be around, and sometimes they are a constant irritant.
In my own case the person I'm thinking of is a constant irritant. He's the only person I've ever met with whom I just hate being in the same room. This is not his problem, it's all mine. I've known him for many many years. We've both matured over time, but it appears he's made more progress than I. I know I don't irritate him the way he does me.
It appears that God wants me to recognize Christ in this person, and behave accordingly. It appears that God wants me to learn what it is in this person that is so repulsive to me, and to recognize I also have the very same trait(s). 
Thank you God, for placing this person in my path.
Help me God, to love this person.

A Thousand Gifts #2 - 7

Thank you God, for:

Sundays

Mass

Our priest

Our Adoration Chapel

Small insights

My husband, who always makes us breakfast

The Thousand Gifts



I've been meaning to start a Gift Journal for some time. I want to record the gifts large and small I'm blessed with each and every day. Knowing myself, I'm sure I'll never manage to journal every day, so I'm not aiming to be prolific. What I do expect to achieve is a sense of grace, blessing and joy. And so I begin.
I'm blessed with free time.
Being a middle-aged woman who's children are raised, and who actively seeks solitude and silence, I'm blessed with free time to pursue things important to me. I'm a reader, curious, and a bit of an introvert, so free time is precious. Thank you God for free time.